Merlin Betts
The dish, the legend: instant noodles and a tin of baked beans. I like to imagine the origin of this meal being as momentous as… curry sauce and spring rolls making it into the chip shop. But! as far as I know, it started with a friend of a friend’s parents chucking something together to feed the kids after a long day at school. My pal was visiting around teatime and lo! Noodles and beans entered our world. Of course, I only found out about it years later, as an after-booze snack and occasional hangover cure.
Are you literally just singing the praises of some noodles with some beans – I hear you ask – and worse than that, instant packet noodles and sugar-sauced, tinned beans? Yes. Yes I am.
I’ve introduced noodles and beans to a few people, so I’m well aware that it sounds like a strange and distasteful combination to many ears. But listen not to your ears (possibly don’t look with your eyes either). Simply taste and be satisfied!
To make this delectable dish, grab your preferred brand of instant noodles (I like Mama noodles best, particularly the tom yum flavour – find it at Best One near Goat Ledge) and a tin of baked beans. Heinz is not required, unless you personally require Heinz. Instant noodles are also not strictly required, but you need to experience it at least once as an unhealthy, over-processed mess before you start making clean, healthy versions. It’s the purest form! Or impurest form… pick whichever sounds most alluring!
Noodles go in a saucepan with whatever seasoning. Get them hydrated to your taste. Some people want soft, some people want firm. Drain the liquid, chuck on the beans, stir. And there you have a basic noodles and beans. Nice things to add: cheese; mayo; chilli sauce.
But the real fun of noodles and beans is in your own variations. I like adding courgette, possibly because I’m a bourgeois bastard. Other common greens include spring onion and coriander. Garlic is always welcome. On the less healthy side, try a tin of sausages and beans (to replace your regular beans), or add some chopped frankfurter. Maybe go wild and add a bit of pickle and/or mustard.
The trick is to have the core ingredients – noodles and beans – in your cupboard at all times, and just have fun finding out what horrors you conjure up with them when you’re drunk or hungry. It’s probably also a tasty, if not particularly nutritious meal for kids.
Healthy version: rice noodles, cannellini beans, fresh or tinned tomatoes, some veg, some curry powder. You don’t really need an ingredients list for any of this, but I will say I tend to put two packets of noodles (or two nests of noodles) to each tin of beans.
